So this morning I got up early and decided to go on a run because it was so beautiful outside. It was like the quiet before the storm, warm but not to warm with an amazing breeze! So I ran to the beach (well a Minnesota beach...) and just sat by the water watching the wind blow across the water and all of a sudden I got really excited! I am going to be a wilderness trip leader at Camp Forest Springs this summer (training starts in 47 days!!!) and I can't wait to be outside in God's creation pretty much all the time! Although I'm still nervous that my shoulder won't be completely ready to do what I need it to do by the time I get to camp.... I can swim well enough that I'm not going to drown and paddling a canoe shouldn't be a problem! Oh and another reason why I got excited today is because I got the list of stuff that I should bring this summer! Which is exciting but also makes me think that I'm going to need some more stuff that I don't really have money to buy at the moment... oh well God will provide and it'll all work out.
Today was kinda a big day not only that BUT I decided today that I really do want to go to graduate school possibly after I graduate next year! I want to get my Masters in Athletic Training and so far I found some very interesting options. One in particular in Colorado which looks pretty much amazing! But I need to find a variety and then see if I can get a GA position which would not only help pay for my education but also give me some money to live off of :)

Psalm 139 is just amazing! Every time I'm struck with the enormity of God! I mean read vs. 1-4
"O Lord, you have searched me and know me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
Behold, O Lord, you know it altogether."

God is amazing! We can't get away from Him. and you know what is even better? He cares so much about us, I mean He doesn't just know me, He has searched me out!

So last summer I wrote something to express my thoughts on being single. I kinda describe it as a tension that I feel between wanting to have a boyfriend and being content in my singleness.

Some days I feel like I'm left out.
Some days I feel like I'm left out of the hurt.
Some days I feel like I'm not missing anything
A boy will not satisfy me
A boy will not complete me
A boy may fulfill some of my worldly desires
But ultimately I want to fall on God and not man!
Therefore I know that in God I find my strength
In God I find my support system
In God I put my trust
In God I find the love that I need
(July 16th, 2009)

Being content where I am is a challenge that I face on a daily basis and every once in a while I need to be reminded that God has a plan for me and although I don't understand it now I must wait for His perfect timing!

So this morning in church they were having a send off for a couple who was going to be missionaries in Africa to Muslims. My heart has such a burden for missions and when I hear about other people going to serve God in other countries I feel God's call. Ever since I was young I have wanted to go on missions trips and to serve God. Some of the most meaningful, inspiring and energizing times in my life have been when I have been involved in ministry whether it is overseas on a missions trip or working at a camp at home.
The beginning of Psalm 127 says,
"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go to bed late,
eating the bread of anxious toil for he gives to his beloved sleep..."
Without God in my life everything I do is worthless. Whether it's something as little as going to school and classes or volunteering at a youth group God needs to be the focus and center of my every action. Some days I forget that, I try to do things on my own instead of trusting God.
Thankfully God isn't done with me yet! (Psalm 138 "the Lord will fulfill his purpose for me...")

Lets see...

So I've kinda wanted to do something like this for a while. I don't know if anybody is going to read it, but I want to get my thoughts out there and share some of the things going on in my head.
To start off my Dad lost his job this week which kinda shook my life and the stability I thought I had and reminded me of just how unstable life is. The night I found out I was sitting reading my Bible and really just needed some encouragement so I decided to read Psalm 121 which says

"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made Heaven and Earth
He will not let your foot be moved He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper the Lord is your shade on your right hand
the sun shall not strike you by day nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil He will keep your life
The lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

Some days, I think we just need to be reminded that God is out there and He has our best interest in mind. We think that it is so easy to trust God and then tough times come and we are faced with a situation we actually have to hand over to God and our trust falters. That is when it trust is most important! When we aren't sure what tomorrow will hold is the time that we must fall on God for strength!
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On a funny note: I spent 7 hours at a baseball game today for athletic training clinical rotations (it was beautiful outside!) but at one point I was grabbing a metal pipe to put in a door that kept locking us out of the building and when i stood up I rammed my head into a hook on the wall. I have a lovely inch and a half red scratch to show for it :) and a sunburn from all that time outside but it was a good day!